Why Do Men Cheat?
I should probably begin this post by explaining why I have not been uploading any posts on my blog in the past two months. Due to the pressure of my job I had to devote my undivided attention to it, which consequently meant that my blog suffered. I have received a few emails asking if I will upload posts again and why I stopped for the past few months and I thought I should explain it on the blog as well. Having that out of the way, I also received another email recently, which brings me to the topic of this post. One of my readers sent me an email asking for advice after finding out that her husband was cheating on her. What struck me though in the email was the question that she brought up, that so many of us have thought about, but no one could come up with an answer: Why Do Men Cheat? That email got me thinking over and over again about this simple question that no one had a definite answer for. Naturally, I turned once again to my friends for their opinions and even some people that I know that have cheated on their relationships in the past. After putting together everything they told me, I realised that the answer might be even simpler than we thought! So here are the reasons that a man (or woman in some occasions) might cheat:
1. Lack of sex in current relationship: It would be a lie if we did not admit that sex is one of the primal desires of human kind. According to researches men look for sex more often than women do (allow me to doubt that a little though!). It is also true that sometimes there comes a time in relationships where sex is no longer as much a priority as it used to be; so the relationship is probably moving from the 'honey-moon' phase to a 'dry-spell' phase. It is around that time that a man will probably start looking for sex elsewhere, thinking ' If I can't get it in the relationship, I'll find somewhere else to get it from'. He will most likely not be willing to break-up with his girlfriend if he is comfortable with the way things are, but he will be more than happy to have casual sex with someone else and not feel guilty about it.
2. They need an escape from their routine: Men are creatures of habit. They value their convenience in their everyday life and they will rarely think of changing it even if they are not a hundred percent happy with it. As long as they are comfortable they won't bother changing anything. Ironically enough, those men that are getting to bored of their daily routine -but cowardice won't allow them to do anything drastic about it - will look for a little indiscretion to indulge in, every now and then. And there is no better solution for them than cheating on their girlfriends or wives with a woman who will offer them passionate sex, whether she becomes part of their lives or she's just an one-night-stand. I remember asking Mat long ago (see Just sex... or something more? and Will he ever leave his girlfriend for you?) why he cheated on his girlfriend and the response - weird as it might be - was comparing a relationship to cooking. I wasn't sure whether he was being incredibly vain or plain honest when he told me "It's like cooking. You might cook something really nice, but you won't cook the same thing every day right?" You can tell how much impression that made on me - it's been more than 2 years and I still remember it.
3. It means nothing: As much as women hate to admit it, men value sex a lot less than women do. Both men and women excrete a hormone while having sex which make us think we are in love. However, women excrete that hormone in much higher levels than men, which makes us fall for our sexual partner a lot easier than men. Even though I hate this explanation, I can't help but accept the scientific truth behind it. So, men will just look for sex with someone else because it means absolutely nothing for them, it's just a primal desire. For them, it doesn't mean that they love their girlfriends (or wives) any less, it's just something that they like to do occasionally, something that sometimes they say: 'it's in our nature'. I think that all women agree that this is probably the word excuse that a man can give, but it is nonetheless one of the reasons that men cheat!
4. It's forbidden: Finally, this is the reasons that even I can't deny: it's appealing as hell and as wrong as cheating might be, this reason might be worth risking everything for. I guess people that can understand the thrill of something forbidden can immediately get this reason. There is something incredibly sexy in doing something you are not supposed to be doing. At times danger alone can be a turn-on. Cheating is definitely at the top of the 'NOT-to-do' List, which is precisely the reason so many men choose to do it. When adrenaline takes over, it doesn't matter how content you are in your current relationship, you will probably give up everything just for the sake of that moment.
I guess after thinking about this question over and over again, most of us would never expect that part of the answer could be so simple. Of course by no means do I excuse cheating based on the grounds of the above reasoning. However, after getting different opinions on the topic, I had to admit that even though inexcusable, cheating can be reasoned and above all, some reasons are understandable (as bad as they may be). What else would you add on the list? Any other reason you believe that men cheat? Comment and let me know!!
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